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Pardon the dust! This page includes some jargon that hasn't been added to the site's glossary yet. I'll be around to fix this later, but sorry for the inconvenience in the meantime. |
Review: Glorkian Warrior: The Trials of Glork
At a Glance
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How to Save and Pause:There's no save feature per se; the closest this game comes to saving your progress is to record the total amount of energy crackers you've collected at the game over screen. To pause, press ESC at any time. Time needed per session:You're likely to be defeated within a few minutes, but since many players will want make multiple attempts before quitting, I'd suggest setting aside at least fifteen minutes per session.
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Does this game pose issues for Christian players?
 | No - this is a great game for Christians This is a silly arcade game with only one real issue - the main character tends to use self-depreciating humor. |
Screenshots
![[view screenshot]](../images/screenshots/glorkian_warrior_0.jpg)
![[view screenshot]](../images/screenshots/glorkian_warrior_1.jpg)
![[view screenshot]](../images/screenshots/glorkian_warrior_2.jpg)
Game Overview
Glorkian Warrior: The Trials of Glork is a goofy shoot 'em up mixed with some simple platforming. It's pretty obvious from the get-go that this intentionally silly game was aimed at younger children - and it turns out that children also helped create the game! Several of the game's sound effects, such as the cheers that you'll hear whenever you acquire a powerup, feature their voices. And, according to the credits, the developer's children also helped design some of the enemies. When people have fun creating something, you know it'll be good!
As expected, there isn't much to the game's story. The planet of Glork is being invaded by aliens and the Magic Robot, so the Glorkian Warrior and his trusty Super Backpack need to spring into action. With that exposition out of the way, it's time to start fighting waves of colorful aliens.
Gameplay wise, this is yet another Space Invaders like game. Aliens fly in, and you shoot them down with a selection of weird weapons. But, if that was really all there was, then there wouldn't be much to talk about. Unlike traditional shoot 'em ups, players are effectively controlling two characters in this game. Backpack can shoot, but it's up to his partner, the titular Glorkian Warrior, to aim and dodge enemies. Making things a little tricker, some enemies crawl along the ground, so you'll occasionally need to jump to avoid their attacks. But take care: jumping also means that our hero might find himself smacking into low flying aliens, which doesn't help anyone.
As you fight, defeated monsters drop energy crackers. As tasty as these might be, you've actually supposed to collect them in order to progress the game. Every time your collection reaches a new milestone, something new will be unlocked. You may gain access to a new weapon, or you might visit a new planet. Later on, new enemies and hazards enter the game's pool of randomly chosen events.
Speaking of which, each level in the game is randomly chosen from a growing list of possibilities. There's no way to predict what sort of weirdness you'll encounter next. A boss may spawn, the Magic Robot may show up, it might rain exploding basketballs, or you might find yourself being bombarded by rogue Tetris pieces. On top of this, a pair of alien sisters might show up and give the Glorkian Warrior some bizarre task like holding his breath for a few minutes. When I say this game is weird, I meant it.
Unfortunately, the fun really only lasts for about two and a half hours. By that point, you'll have unlocked everything, and the game starts to lose its unique charm. But, if you want more Glork, there is another option - namely, the comic book series that this game was based on! There are three original comics about the Glorkian Warrior and two newer ones about the Glork Patrol. Look for them wherever you prefer to find your comics.
As expected, there isn't much to the game's story. The planet of Glork is being invaded by aliens and the Magic Robot, so the Glorkian Warrior and his trusty Super Backpack need to spring into action. With that exposition out of the way, it's time to start fighting waves of colorful aliens.
Gameplay wise, this is yet another Space Invaders like game. Aliens fly in, and you shoot them down with a selection of weird weapons. But, if that was really all there was, then there wouldn't be much to talk about. Unlike traditional shoot 'em ups, players are effectively controlling two characters in this game. Backpack can shoot, but it's up to his partner, the titular Glorkian Warrior, to aim and dodge enemies. Making things a little tricker, some enemies crawl along the ground, so you'll occasionally need to jump to avoid their attacks. But take care: jumping also means that our hero might find himself smacking into low flying aliens, which doesn't help anyone.
As you fight, defeated monsters drop energy crackers. As tasty as these might be, you've actually supposed to collect them in order to progress the game. Every time your collection reaches a new milestone, something new will be unlocked. You may gain access to a new weapon, or you might visit a new planet. Later on, new enemies and hazards enter the game's pool of randomly chosen events.
Speaking of which, each level in the game is randomly chosen from a growing list of possibilities. There's no way to predict what sort of weirdness you'll encounter next. A boss may spawn, the Magic Robot may show up, it might rain exploding basketballs, or you might find yourself being bombarded by rogue Tetris pieces. On top of this, a pair of alien sisters might show up and give the Glorkian Warrior some bizarre task like holding his breath for a few minutes. When I say this game is weird, I meant it.
Unfortunately, the fun really only lasts for about two and a half hours. By that point, you'll have unlocked everything, and the game starts to lose its unique charm. But, if you want more Glork, there is another option - namely, the comic book series that this game was based on! There are three original comics about the Glorkian Warrior and two newer ones about the Glork Patrol. Look for them wherever you prefer to find your comics.
Points of Interest
Lots of unique ideas
Only a few things about this game seem like they were pulled from a traditional game. The enemies don't usually fly in predetermined formations, nor are they simply reskins of each other. Another difference is that the commonplace lives system has been replaced with a health meter, so the game continues on even when you get hit. The weapons are especially unique, as they range from typical ray guns to strange and wonderful things like a tennis ball launcher, the mighty Flarf Gun, or a freaking flamethrower.
Steam community features
There are 18 achievements available for players to earn as they fight off the invaders. Some of these are awarded for defeating specific bosses, but the majority of them are earned by reaching increasingly larger milestones. For example, you'll earn achievements by collecting so many energy crackers or defeating so many enemies. The rarer achievements are really just rewards for wasting your time grinding, so only a few people have earned them.
On the other hand, if you're a player who's interested in Steam trading cards, there's a set available for this game.
On the other hand, if you're a player who's interested in Steam trading cards, there's a set available for this game.
Can get repetitive
Although each playthrough lasts only a couple of minutes, you'll have run out of new and interesting things to see by the time you've collected the ~22,000 energy crackers needed to unlock everything. To be fair, this isn't the type of game that expects you to play it for hours on end, and it acknowledges this in a few places.
Concerns and Issues
Mild violence
As in most arcade games, enemies usually just pop out of existence when defeated. The main exception to this are the aliens that crawl along the floor - jumping on them makes them fall off the bottom of the screen. Likewise, when the Glorkian Warrior is hit by something, he'll mostly just make a startled noise and jump back.
However, when he's defeated, the Warrior will literally fall apart with his head, Backpack, and body popping into separate pieces.
However, when he's defeated, the Warrior will literally fall apart with his head, Backpack, and body popping into separate pieces.
Self-depriciating humor
Between games, the Glorkian Warrior, his Backpack, and possibly the alien sisters will talk among themselves. During these conversations, some of the things the Warrior says are quite defeatest and show that he has a poor self-image. This is played for humor, but it's also a sign of an unhealthy mindset.