Retro Game Reviews

Overview

While the online community loves to talk about and play video games of all kinds, a lot of players still prefer to play old titles. Sometimes this is for nostalgic reasons, but it may also be because older games tended to be simpler, less time consuming, or more experimental.

Whatever the reason, playing old games is known as Retro Gaming, and it's a big part of the modern gaming landscape. Below are the 18 reviews I've made of retro games that are still available from modern vendors. Note that direct ports of older games are also listed here, while collections and remakes are not.

Simply click on a game's title to view the full review.

Games in this List

Arcade Game Series: Galaga

ESRB Rating:	E - Everyone
My Rating:	Everyone
Genre:	Shoot 'em up
Platforms:
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It's time to fight against a never ending armada of aliens in this classic arcade game by NAMCO. Just be sure to keep your starship from getting captured while you're aiming for that elusive high score!

Brief thoughts: As this is one of the earliest arcade games, there's not much to worry about - just some very mild violence as players and aliens shoot each other.

Arcade Game Series: PAC-MAN

ESRB Rating:	E - Everyone
My Rating:	Everyone
Genre:	Arcade
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This is a Steam rerelease of the classic Pac Man game. Everybody knows the drill by now: you spend the game guiding Pac Man around the maze while eating dots, munching fruits, while avoiding Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde!

Brief thoughts: This is a rerelease of the classic Pac Man game; there's really nothing to worry about here.

Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold

ESRB Rating:	NR - Not Rated
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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In the 22nd century, the evil Dr. Goldfire is preparing to wage war against the Earth using his army of mutant creatures and aliens! In order to protect the world from this insanity, Agent Blake Stone has been sent to find and defeat the madman before he can launch his attack!

Brief thoughts: Like other First person shooters of the era, blood and gore is frequently seen when enemies are killed. In this case, some of blood is green or yellow, and there's much less gore than you'd see in Doom, but it's still present.

Chip's Challenge

ESRB Rating:	NR - Not Rated
My Rating:	Everyone
Genre:	Puzzle
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This game is completely free!
In order to join the Bit Busters and hang out with the girl of his dreams, "nerdy" Chip McCallahan must solve an elaborate series of brain teasing puzzles!

Brief thoughts: This game is quite family friendly - even though Chip can be hurt by various hazards, it's just a "bummer", and nothing more.

Doom (1993)

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Ages 13 and up
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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A free demo is available
Laboratories on the Martian moons were attempting to develop working teleporters, but while they succeeded, the scientists got more than they bargained for -- one of the teleporters malfunctioned, opening a gateway into Hell itself. Now a lone Marine must fight the Hellspawn back through the portal, and stop the invasion from within Hell itself.

Brief thoughts: While there's a lot of violence, gore, and demonic references in this game, it's important to remember that the player is actively trying to contain the forces of Hell, not support them.

Whether this context is enough to excuse the everything else is a matter of opinion.

Doom 2: Hell on Earth

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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After returning to Earth, the Marine is met with the horrible fact that the legions of Hell had already breached Earth's security and were in the process of invading the planet. What remained of the human race is fleeing into space, but they need your help to finally stop the invasion and make Hell pay for its evil.

Brief thoughts: Like its predecessor, there's a lot of graphic violence and demonic references in this game, and for the same reason - the player is fighting against an invasion by the forces of Hell.

That said, it's a matter of opinion whether or not this is enough to justify the game's content.

Doom 64

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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Years after the events of Doom 2, satellite images show that the demonic horde has started to regroup, with something patching together the dead to create new, "undead demons". As the sole survivor of the original disaster, you're tasked with returning to Mars in order to stop the Hellish invasion once again.

Brief thoughts: This is a pretty graphic game, and like the others in this series, you're fighting against literal demons in an attempt to stop their invasion. Additionally, the forces of Hell created a new evil weapon for this invasion, and the player can use it against them.

Final Doom

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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This expansion pack for Doom II provides fans with two new campaigns against the forces of Hell! Evilution tasks the Marine must stop another demonic invasion on Jupiter, while the Plutonia Experiment tests players with levels filled with traps and unexpected twists!

Brief thoughts: This is an expansion pack for Doom II, so everything found in that game is also present here. For reference, violent gameplay, gore, and demonic imagery are the top three issues.

Hexen: Beyond Heretic

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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The epic struggle against the evil Serpent Riders and their diabolical Order of the Sign continues as three new heroes rise up to challenge the cult in this sequel to Heretic. Each playable character has their own set of weapons and a unique gameplay style, allowing players to experience the battle in three unique ways!

Brief thoughts: Most of the characters in this game make frequent use of magic to aid them in their battles, but the large amount of blood and gore is easily the bigger issue here.

Hexen: Deathkings of the Dark Citadel

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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After the defeat of Korax, our heroes decided to claim his Chaos Sphere for themselves. This proved to be a bad idea, as it promptly transported them into the Realm of the Dead. Now stranded behind enemy lines, our heroes must fight through the hordes of the undead in order to find their way home!

Brief thoughts: This is an expansion for Hexen, so it shares all of the same problems. In some cases it's actually a little worse, as you're more likely to find dead bodies in these new levels.

Hocus Pocus

ESRB Rating:	NR - Not Rated
My Rating:	Ages 10 and up
Genre:	Platform Shooter
Platforms:
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A free demo is available
Hocus Pocus is a young wizard with big dreams. In order to make those dreams a reality, he sets off on a journey across time and space, his eventual goal being the defeat of four of the Wizard Council's greatest foes.

Brief thoughts: Magic is omnipresent in this game, though it's mostly reduced to ammunition or specific powerups. A potentially bigger issue is that some of the backgrounds depict demonic or frightening creatures.

Master Levels for Doom II

ESRB Rating:	NR - Not Rated
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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The Master Levels are a loose collection of 21 new levels for Doom II: Hell on Earth. Most of them aren't related to each other, but that doesn't make them any less fun to play!

Brief thoughts: As this is a level pack for Doom II: Hell on Earth, all of the problems with that game are an issue here.

To quickly recap, there's a lot of graphic violence and demonic imagery.

Mystic Towers

ESRB Rating:	NR - Not Rated
My Rating:	Ages 10 and up
Genre:	Action
Platforms:
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A free demo is available
Taking on the role of Baron Baldric, your goal is to save the neighboring countries by exploring twelve towers, destroy their monster generators, and clearing out the remaining monsters.

Brief thoughts: There are a number of minor issues with this game that, on their own, probably wouldn't be a problem. But they do add up, and this may reach a point where some Christians are uncomfortable with them.

Quake

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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Government experiments into teleportation go awry when a hostile alien, codenamed Quake, latches onto the network and sends its army to invade our world. It's up to a Ranger, the sole survivor of one attack, to battle through his way through the four realms, gather their respective magical Runes, and put a violent end to the invasion.

Brief thoughts: There is a ton of blood and gore present throughout this game, though a potentially bigger issue is the faux-occult content that this game is themed around. Essentially, this is a retelling of Doom (1993) that replaces the satanic imagery with a Lovecraftian horror theme.

Raptor: Call of the Shadows (1994)

ESRB Rating:	NR - Not Rated
My Rating:	Ages 10 and up
Genre:	Shoot 'em Up
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Back in the day, this was easily one of the best shoot 'em up games available for home computers. It's still a classic game in the genre, even though it's been eclipsed by newer games.

Brief thoughts: Like most shoot 'em ups, players spend their time shooting things or blowing them up. Usually this isn't much of an issue, as none of the enemies appear to have pilots, but there are a few situations where you can spot a body among the wreckage.

Star Wars: Dark Forces

ESRB Rating:	T - Teenagers
My Rating:	Ages 10 and up
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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While most of the galaxy has been concerned about the Empire's Death Star project, something more terrible has been going on behind the scenes. The Dark Trooper project, headed by General Mohc, is an attempt at creating a "super stormtrooper". Fearing the worst, the Rebel Alliance contacts the legendary mercenary Kyle Katarn, hiring him to investigate, and if possible, eliminate this threat to galactic peace.

Brief thoughts: As you might expect, most of the gameplay revolves around shooting people and aliens with laser guns and other science fiction weaponry. However, while this typically only results in a puff of smoke, it is possible to find blood or human remains in some levels.

Super 3-D Noah's Ark

ESRB Rating:	NR - Not Rated
My Rating:	Ages 6 and up
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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The Ark has been afloat for long enough that the animals are getting restless! To avoid catastrophe, Noah needs to calm the animals down again, and to do that, he'll use his trusty slingshot to scatter feed pellets around them, filling their bellies and putting them to sleep.

Brief thoughts: Although this game plays like any other First Person Shooter, you're scattering feed instead of firing bullets. Thus, enemies who are defeated simply fall asleep instead of dying.

Wolfenstein 3D

ESRB Rating:	M - Mature Audiences
My Rating:	Adults - 18+
Genre:	First Person Shooter
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Before there was Doom, there was Wolfenstein - the classic story of William BJ Blazkwoicz shooting his way through bunkers and secret bases as he brought an end to various Nazi programs and even Mecha Cyborg Hitler himself.

Brief thoughts: This is a pretty bloody game, despite the primitive graphics. For some, the fact that you're fighting Nazis - and thus constantly exposed to their paraphernalia as you play - is an even bigger issue. Also, as silly as a giant robot Hitler can be, the idea that you're playing a game where you can shoot a real person (even a very evil real person) doesn't sit well with a lot of people.