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Review: Dwarfs?!

At a Glance

ESRB Rating: NR - Not Rated
My Rating: Ages 6 and up
Genre: Real Time Strategy
License: Commercial
Fun-O-Meter:
Release Year: 2011
Review Published On: November 24th, 2021
Played on: Thaddeus

Available for:

Linux
MacOS
Windows

Available from:

Gamer's Gate
Steam
Steam (Free version)

Areas of Concern:
  • Mild violence
  • Fantasy themes


How to Save and Pause:

You can pause the action by pressing ESC. This brings up the pause menu, which also gives you access to the save/load game menu. There is no autosave, and saving/loading games disqualifies them from earning achievements or placement on the leaderboards.

Time needed per session:

A game of Dwarfs?! can last anywhere from a few minutes to over an hour, depending on the player's skill and size of the playing area. Plan accordingly.

Does this game pose issues for Christian players?

No - this is a great game for Christians
The biggest concern about this game is that it features fantasy creatures (etc, Dwarfs and Goblins) fighting each other. Everything is shown in a very tame and family friendly way, however.

Screenshots

[view screenshot]
A normal day in the Colony

[view screenshot]
I wonder what's in here?

[view screenshot]
A good day's work



Game Overview

In Dwarfs?!, the player rules the roost as Overseer of a new Dwarf colony. As such, it's your job to ensure that the colony thrives - a fairly daunting task considering the many dangers your dwarfs are likely to encounter. But, while this sounds like the sales pitch for an elaborate city builder or a strategy game, it's neither. This is an arcade game; you're supposed to play for a while, earn a high score, and start over.

The centerpiece of this game is the Outpost. You'll automatically lose the game if anything happens to this building, so be prepared to defend it with whatever means necessary. This structure also plays an important role in the gameplay: it's where you get your supply of dwarf minions. Every so often, the Outpost will generate a new Worker Dwarf. These hearty lads do most of the grunt work for you - specifically, they dig your many tunnels. Left to their own devices, they'll simply wander around the map, digging new tunnels wherever they feel like exploring.

This is generally not much of a problem. Most of the map is filled with dirt, so they only really get into trouble when they start digging around an underground cave. Nobody knows what a cave will contain until a dwarf stumbles into it. Caves can contain loose treasure or possibly nothing at all. But they can also contain monsters, water, or lava.

Water and lava are grave threats to your colony. Once the cave containing them has been breached, they'll start pouring out into your tunnels. Dwarfs are strong critters, but they cannot swim and definitely aren't fireproof, so any poor dwarfs caught in the path of the flood are doomed. Worse, your Outpost will be destroyed if it gets flooded. Fortunately, you do have some tools to deal with these threats. For starters, you can spend some of your gold to place walls in your tunnels. Then, you can send a dwarf out to blow a deep hole in the ground with some dynamite. This will create a drain for the water or lava to safely flow into. The final step of dealing with this problem is to magically harden the earth around the cave so no careless dwarf digs into it again.

Monsters are more of an annoyance than water or lava. They'll attack your dwarfs, possibly killing a few, and start working their way towards your Outpost. This is where your Warrior dwarfs come in. Unlike Worker dwarfs, you need to hire them using gold that your workers have collected. Once hired, they'll patrol the area around your Outpost until you send them somewhere else or they see a monster. Warriors are tougher than Workers, so they'll have an easier time with any of the goblins or spiders that were accidentally let loose by your workers digging too deep and too greedily.

If you want to improve your warriors' abilities, you can also build a fortress. Once built, you can assign a group of warriors to a fortress, where they'll hang out until something else grabs their attention. Aside from letting you create secondary bases, fortresses offer a way for you to train your warriors, making them stronger and more capable in combat. But, there is still another perk of having a fortress: each of them comes with a cannon you can use to quickly send your warriors somewhere else on the map - a useful trick when larger monsters are discovered.

All in all, this is a fun little game with some silly surprises, but the simplicity works against it somewhat. I can see players putting it back down after only a few hours, as there isn't much to keep you coming back for more. In fact, the most likely reason your average person would pick this game up is because it offers a perk for players who also own Killing Floor, a much more popular game by the same developers. By owning both games, you'll get to use the Dwarven Axe in Killing Floor.

Points of Interest

Dwarven decorations

While your dwarfs go about their business, they'll start placing decorations throughout the tunnels. These decorations can range from discarded garbage like banana peels, poop, and blops of green slime to things you'd normally associate with dwarves, like armor racks, weapons, signposts, and magic doorways to other worlds. You never know what might pop up around your colony while you're playing.

Alternate game modes

The normal game has you defend your growing colony for a fixed amount of time. However, there are several other ways to play Dwarfs?!, such as a number of challenges for you to overcome, a "base defend" mode, and a special carnival minigame. Ture to form, the base defend mode has you dig mazes and create buildings to protect your Outpost from waves of monsters. The carnival minigame though is very short and simple: it's a shooting gallery. You control a single dwarf and try to hit wooden targets with thrown axes.

The tutorial is hosted by a guest star

Are ye ready for a fun surprise? The tutorial be hosted by none other than ever'one's favorite dwarf, Simon from thee Yogscast! Listen well, for he be teachin' ye the best way ta diggy diggy hole!

Steam community features

There are twenty nine achievements to earn while you're busy ordering dwarfs around. Many of these simply reward you for sticking around, as you'll eventually earn them just by playing this game for long enough. The carnival minigame has several unique achievements tied to it, though admittedly they're pretty easy to earn.

Short and repetitive

Unfortunately, the nature of arcade games works against them in today's market. With very little content and limited gameplay, you'll have seen and done almost everything within a few games. Modern games need to offer more than a highscore to keep players entertained these days.

Concerns and Issues

Mild violence

Both dwarfs and monsters die during their misadventures in this game. There's no blood, and both sides are depicted using the same cartoony style. When someone dies, they disappear in a poof with a skull and crossbones drifting away from where they last were.

Also, the unlucky dwarf who triggers your dynamite is always killed in the explosion.

Mild swearing

During the tutorial, Simon uses the word "bastards" to describe the bad guys. This is the one and only time anybody says anything remotely offensive.

Scantily clad elves

There's a long running cliché in fantasy stories of the elven women wearing as little clothing as possible. This is played for laughs at a few points in Dwarfs?!, such as the carnival minigame, where you can earn the achievement entitled "pervert" by hitting only the elf targets.