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Review: Cookie Clicker

At a Glance

ESRB Rating: NR - Not Rated
My Rating: Ages 10 and up
Genre: Idle game
License: Freeware / Commercial
Fun-O-Meter:
Release Year: 2013
Reviewed Version: 2.042
Review Published On: February 9th, 2022
Played on: Thaddeus

Available on:

Windows
Linux
MacOS

Available from:

Free Online Version
Steam

Soundtrack: Available as DLC
Areas of Concern:
  • Scary concepts including body horror
  • Recruiting angels and demons
  • Worship of fictional gods
  • Dragons and magic


How to Save and Pause:

Your progress is periodically saved automatically. You can also export your saved game as a text file, and reload the from that file later on.

As this is an idle game, it doesnt feature a pause function. Youre supposed to let it run on its own while youre off doing something else.

Time needed per session:

This is an idle game - you play it by letting it run in the background while you do other things and only occasionally interact with it. If having this game up would be a distraction, then leave it closed.

Does this game pose issues for Christian players?

Some players may have concerns
Although this game is just about making numbers increase, there are some concepts (especially in the later parts of the game) that may make Christians uncomfortable.

Screenshots

[view screenshot]
An easy start

[view screenshot]
Making good progress

[view screenshot]
Oh dear



Game Overview

Cookie Clicker was something of a phenomenon a few years ago when it originally gained traction, and its probably still the most popular idle game today. While it wasnt the original idle game, Cookie Clicker was definitely the game that brought the genre to a mainstream audience.

As you can guess, the goal of this game is to bake as many cookies as possible. At first, you can only bake cookies by manually clicking on the large cookie to the left of the window. This is a slow and tedious process, as every click only bakes one cookie. However, once youve made enough cookies this way, you can spend them on upgrades and buildings to help make them faster. As you acquire more and more assistance, the amount of cookies baked per second grows astronomically. Eventually the number of cookies made every second becomes pretty insane, which is entirely intentional and seeing how high you can get the numbers to go is part of the fun.

Over time, new features will start to unlock as you reach new milestones in your baking career. One of these is the ability to grow sugar lumps. These clumps of sugar will grow next to the news ticker and automatically collect themselves once theyve ripened (usually every 24 real-time hours). You can then use them to upgrade your buildings or refill certain meters. Importantly, upgrading some buildings, like the Wizard Towers or the Cookie Farms, will unlock special minigames that can be used to help you make more cookies.

Much later on, a special upgrade known as the Bingo Center / Research Facility becomes unlocked. Purchasing it enters the early stages of the games climax, but more on that later, under the spoiler warning below. After all, despite there actually being a climax to the games story (such as it is), the changes are generally cosmetic or are just another way to assist the player in their cookie-making goals. Theres no real end to this game.

In fact, once you start baking enough cookies, youll begin to earn Legacy points. Once youre satisfied with the amount of Legacy points youve acquired, you can Ascend by clicking the the Legacy points meter. Ascending starts the game over, but adds a small twist. Before the game resumes, you can spend your Legacy points (now recreated as Heavenly Chips) to unlock special bonuses that greatly impact your progress. Thus, every cycle of restarting and ascending leads to faster and faster baking.

All in all, Cookie Clicker is an odd game, as all youre really doing is watching numbers increase. Yet, its strangely captivating and worth a look if youre willing to waste some time in this bizarre little toy. You can either play it using your web browser, or purchase the Steam version. The browser version does display ads on the far right, but its otherwise free. The Steam version doesnt have any ads, but it costs a few bucks, so youre basically paying for an ad-free version. Both versions are otherwise identical, so youre free to choose which one you prefer.

Points of Interest

It continues while closed

This is a quirk of idle games in general, as theyre essentially just something for you to watch and occasionally interact with. But, depending on what powerups youve acquired, the game will pretend to run after you close it. Thus, you can make progress without having the game open all the time. Its a bit weird, to be honest.

Gardening provides additional goals

You unlock the gardening minigame by upgrading your farms with sugar lumps. In this minigame, you plant various crops that will provide bonuses for the main game. As an example, Bakers Wheat provides a flat boost to your overall output, while Thumbcorn helps you make more cookies with each click. You can also hybridize plants, eventually creating a large selection of seeds. This is surprisingly difficult to accomplish, but if you manage to unlock every seed, you can trade the full seed catalogue to the sugar hornets for a lot of sugar lumps. This also resets the minigame, but it may be worth it if you need more lumps.

Achievements

Normally, when a game on Steam has achievements, I list it under Steam community features along with other features supplied by the Steam client. In this case however, both the Steam and the browser version of the game feature achievements, and earning them actually has an impact on your game. Every achievement you earn gives you milk, which in turn grants a sizable increase in productivity. Thus, you want to earn as many achievements as possible for the biggest boosts. There are all sorts of things that grant achievements, so try all sorts of things.

That said, a few of the achievements are called shadow achievements. These are especially hard to earn, so to be far, they dont give you milk. The True Neverclick achievement is a good example of a shadow achievement, as its awarded if you manage to make a ton of cookies without ever clicking the big cookie. Additionally, you cant earn it during a run with heavenly abilities enabled. Good luck figuring out how to earn it (hint: it requires a lot of patience and is actually fairly obvious once you know how).

Concerns and Issues

Holiday events

The game changes to reflect certain holidays. This is usually superficial, such as the way Easter and Halloween reskin the Golden and Wrath Cookies into bunnies and jack-o-lanterns, but Christmas introduces some new content. During Christmas, the player can purchase Santa Claus and take over his cookie empire. Reindeer also occasionally prance across the window and will grant you more cookies if you can click on them before they leave.

Later on, you can gain the ability to toggle the current season, allowing you to gain a years worth of benefits during a single run.

Buying and Selling people?

This one is pretty subjective. Buildings are a type of upgrade that can be bought and sold, as the player desires. Many of them are actually structures, such as the farms, factories, or banks, but some are not. One of the buildings you can purchase are Grandmothers. As they are functionally the same as any other building, they can also be sold.

Presumably, this is meant to refer to hiring or firing them, but there are some hints that this may not be the case. Notably, theres an achievement thats earned by selling (not firing) a Grandmother.

Dragons and Magic

While treating Grandmothers as a building is a little odd in its own abstract way, some of the other buildings utilize magic to make cookies. The obvious example being the Wizard Towers, which attempt to conjure new cookies into existence. The Alchemy Labs also use magic, turning gold into more precious cookies.

There is also Krumblor, a pet cookie dragon you can raise and train. Training grants your dragon the ability to project helpful auras, and a fully trained dragon can use two auras at the same time. The catch is that you train your dragon by sacrificing large numbers of buildings, including Grandmothers.

Cookie gods

Speaking of buildings, you can buy Temples where people go to worship the Cookie gods. If you have upgraded your Temples at least once, youll also have unlocked the ability to devote your Temples to three of the fictional gods. Devoting your Temples to a god grants bonuses (and penalties) that support different playstyles.

References to Christianity

Several of the unlockable powerups you can purchase during an Ascension are references to Christianity. Most of these provide assistance after the game is closed; as a general rule, Angels help with baking while Demons increase the duration of these bonuses. This is almost purely cosmetic, as these powerups could literally have been named after anything, but it does make it feel kind of weird to literally be able to purchase God.

May be seen as wasteful

Its not unheard of for players to leave their computers on overnight so that they can use that time to passively bake more cookies and progress just a bit faster. The problem is, a lot of people turn their computers off when they arent using them, and leaving them on like this results in the computer using more power than normal. Granted, its not a huge amount of power and its unlikely to make much of an impact on anyones electric bills, but it may bother people who want to limit their carbon footprint or are sticklers for turning things off when youre done using them.

Alternatively, there are ways to use your computers spare time to score points by actually doing some good, such as the World Community Grid.

Horrific events and terrible things

As you get farther and farther along, youll notice that the news ticker starts showing disturbing or worrisome headlines. Children and animals start growing strange lumps, there are warnings about the Portals to the Cookieverse leaking some otherworldly contamination into neighboring areas, and time travelers start refusing to revisit the future.

This change in tone is merely a hint of whats to come when the endgame begins...

The Grandmapocalyspe

Thanks to the developments of the Bingo Center / Research Facility, the grandmothers begin to delve into deeper and darker magics. Eventually, they join as a massive hive mind, awakening as the Grandmatriarchs. The background of the games window changes to reflect this new era, as it becomes filled with images of corrupted and distorted old ladies. The news ticker also brings reports of the uprising, talking about fleshy tendrils and other forms of corruption.

The Grandmapocalyspe also brings out the Wrinklers, which are gross worm-like things that come and nibble on the big cookie. You can pop them to reclaim the cookies theyve eaten, so its usually worth having them around despite their appearance.

As wonderfully horrible as this is, there is an option to disable the games scary content. You could, of course, just never start the Grandmapocalyspe in the first place, but Im not sure if limiting yourself like that would be as much fun.